MYSTERY SOLVED!!!

I have finally tracked down the real story as to what happened that fateful night I received a shocking photo that has forever singed its horrors into mind. Let me pick up the tale where I left off.

When I found Jambi at the street corner with a bullet attached to his head, he told me "Yammin" shot him. Now, I figured that he was either delirious, or that he just had some kind of speech impediment, and meant "Jammin". But I still didn't think Mr. Jammin capable of cold-blooded rubbering. Especially after seeing the Hinee Ho ritual they were engaged in. I walked down the street, trying to make sense of it all. I was so lost in thought, that even though it seemed like I had only been walking for minutes, it turned out to have been hours, and I soon realized that the sun was just about to come up.

Before I rounded a corner, two thugs jumped out from behind an alley, knocked me unconscious, and next thing I knew I was waking up in a dark room, tied to a chair, with a lamp above my head.

"Good, you're awake. Now let me make this clear. Leave that stupid mystery about Jammin alone. You're gonna mess things up for me, and I won't have it. Jammin's gonna take the fall for all of this. End of story. Even if I have to stuff you full of sugar-substitute and serve you on a platter to a Mary Kay convention, you're gonna keep your yap shut."

It was then he walked into the light, and I gasped. It was Jammin! No, wait! It looked like Jammin, yet it didn't. He looked rough and worn, with scars, tattoos, piercings and an eye patch. Then I saw the name tag on his jacket. YAMMIN. Jambi was right after all!

"That's right. I'm Jammin's evil twin brother. How ironic, huh? I doctored the picture so that he would take the fall and I could take his place. Ol' PW and I were partyin' when that pic was taken, but I fixed it up to ruin Jammin's creds. And that's how it's gonna stay, so..."

Right then, I kicked him in the begonias, grabbed the photo (I had worked my hands out of the ropes) and ran. Just as I made it from the building, it exploded! Like in the movies! I don't think Yammin made it. I ran home as quickly as I could, despite the ache in my head and rope-burns on my wrists, but I didn't care. I was just too happy to have found out the truth, and wanted to clear Jammin's name asap. Here's the photo:



So, as you can see, it wasn't Jammin in the photo, and he was being set up. I can see why he kept trying to use the Homer excuse, but that never would've worked anyway. Of course, it would have been helpful to know that he had an evil twin brother, but maybe even he didn't know. But at least he's gone now. I think. Anyway, case solved - congrats Jammin! It must feel good to be cleared again.

And Jambi is recovering nicely. They did a dartectomy, and aside from a hickey on his forehead, it looks like he's gonna be ok. Oh, and Jammin? Chairry said something about wanting you to "refresh her memory" of your "cottony softness". She said you'd know what it meant. Til next time a mystery needs concocting, ciao baby!