THOUGHTS

I've only been back for a couple of hours Now, you have to understand where I'm coming from. I have experienced a lot of death in my +/- 35 years. I was only four when the only grandparent that I ever met passed on. I didn't quite understand then, but knew others around were sad. When I was only 11 years old, one of my good friends was murdered/man-slaughtered a few towns away. That was one experience that truly hit home hard. We all have a least one like that.
Through my teens and early twenties, family members passed, but that was no big surprise due to some unhealthy life choices. I spent several years travelling, living out of a suitcase, moving from motel to motel. I occasionally would have a weekend off, only to return to work and find that one of my coworkers never made it home that weekend. Being around that much death, I became very callous to it. Although, I would bury the feelings, deep down each one pricked my conscience to just how short life is. One coworker had something fall off a top shelf in the store and hit him on the head while working overnight, and he refused to go to the hospital. He died in his motel bed that next afternoon. Another coworker was home for the weekend and had a massive heart attack while riding his motorcyle down the interstate in connecticut. The two that affected me the most, however, was the horrible tragic death of Mrs. Kennedy, a school mother that I had known since I was four and right up through graduation. The last time that I ever saw her she was signing the guest book at the party I threw when I asked my wife to marry me. The second incident which hit home a little harder than normal was when we lost a coworker due to lack of sleep, which we all suffered from, when he crashed his truck in the desolate west virginia woods only an hour and a half from getting home for his weekend off to visit with his fiance's. He laid in the ditch for 4 hours before any one found him. He and I were the same age at that time. We were both engaged to marry within a month from each other. The company I worked for had a memorial for him, but I think it was more to curb the impending lawsuit. I mostly remember how empty his beautiful, 21 year old fiancee looked. Way to young to be widowed. Way to young.... Many other deaths have come and gone in the last 11 years. Most funerals I would not attend, because " i dont like funerals". Over the last few years I have endured some potentially life changing events which have made me rethink what was important to me. Combined with watching my two daughters grow from "cute babies" to beautiful young ladies, the realization of the shortness of this life and how quickly it can change is constantly in the back of my thoughts.
Like I said in the beginning, I just got home a couple hours ago. I attended the service for Joe Chalifour. I have changed just as life changes, and felt that I had to go. I am glad that I did. I have not seen such a emotional service. Many laughed at memories shared involving the ever smiling, full of life Joe Chalifour. Many wiped tears from their eyes during some stories, but I dont think there was a dry eye in the house when a cd was played of Joe's younger brother singing the song " I can only imagine...".
I wish I had been able to keep in touch with him over the years. I sat wishing for a friend like Joe was to so many. He was honored, revered, and loved by friends and family alike. The most amazing part for me was at the beginning, when his wife of seven years (they would have celebrated their anniversary this past weekend) took the podium first to describe what a loving husband and father that Joe Chalifour was. She referred to Joe as a fun loving, noncomformist in one sentence, but then went on to lovingly describe him as a "yes man" to her and his children. He was never too busy to read a story, play a game, or anything that they wanted to do. She shared memories of how he would email her in the middle of the day just to say " i love you" or to tell her how special she was. She shared how he would look her in the eyes at different times throughout their happy marriage and thank her for giving him his kids. This left me to rethink my busy life once again, and to wonder if I say I love you enough to those that mean so much. Life is Short. We hear it, but do we listen? The biggest part of what Joe's wife spoke about I will try to retype verbatum. "If you pray.....please pray for me and the kids for strength...." WE all need to keep that whole family on our minds and in prayer, as they will all have a large whole in their lives for a very long time.
I dont know how many of you have read the article in the Foster's daily democrat, but it said that Joe would organize Bike Rally Rides to help raise money for his neice's medical bills due to the fact that she has leukemia. I have been informed that this neice is Tracey's daughter. I wanted to see how many people would be willing to make a donation from the friends cafe members in Joes memory, and i would like to hear all your feed back on this idea.
When i left this morning, I wasnt sure whether I should be skipping work to go to a funeral for someone that I hadn't seen for 18 years. I felt out of respect for Tracey and her family that I would go. Now I know that I am glad that I went. I learned so much more about a wonderful person who walked this earth for a short but full 37 years. I also want to learn to be a better "yes man", as his wife labeled him, to my own wife and kids.
I remember best that big toothy smile that Joe always seemed to have for everyone he met in the halls at school, sun glasses on and cool as a cucumber. It was displayed in almost every picture at the memorial service. I remember the old monza that Joe drove/raced/jumped at baseball and soccer practices, and the sport uniforms that never fit right and earned Joe the nicknames of Loupey and P-Ting. Here's to good memories.