AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!! Grrrrrrr!! Scowl, scowl, scowl! Grunt, grunt, hmpph! BARK! BARK! BARK! Crank, crank, woof, snap, snarl! Glare, glare, snip snip!
It has come to my attention that I am the official Blogger Crank. It is my duty to uphold that office that I have been elected to, thereby fulfilling expectations of those who have elected me. Apparently the voting process was by write-in ballot only, because I was not aware of my name being entered into any election campaign, but the final count appears to have been unanimous, and the position completely binding and non-refundable.
Therefore it is now my duty to fulfill that roll, and become the man that I was elected to be. The Grand Groucho. The Supreme Snapper. The Unforgiving Oscar. As your newly appointed Crank, I promise to uphold crankiness, provide support for crusty old geezers, glare at the non-conformists, and put a snapping turtle in every pot! And read my lips! Pbbbbbbt!
Now if anyone needs me, I'll be practicing my grimacing and growling in the mirror. (What a humiliating position to be in. I can't believe this is happening to me. Where did I go wrong? Is keeping this blog alive so wrong??? Oh, the agony of it all.....) Oops, is this thing still on? Hello? What a night. (Sigh)
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
What A Grouch!
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3 comments:
see now that is not fair. i was campaigning VERY aggressively and apparently YOU have already been elected?? my negative comments fall on deaf ears? my degrading remarks are being ignored? WHY????
Y'know, I was thinking the same thing! Why DID I get elected? Especially since Donna was the campaign manager of the Crankacratic Party and the one who got everything started, I don't understand why she nominated me instead of you. Perhaps it was some sort of revenge against you. And I wasn't even aware that the votes had been taken. I promise, Shaun, I would've voted for you if I had the chance!! You are far more qualified for the job than I am, though maybe Cheryl would disagree. But if you want the job, I'd be happy to resign - you just say the word! ;)
Dear Donna,
Donald Trump just called. He said something about having two words for you. Something like "Four mired!" No, that wasn't it. "Tore sired!" No, still doesn't sound quite right. Hang on, let me find the Post-it note...............................Here it is. He said, "You're Fired!" I wonder why he would do that? Hmmmmm.
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